Intimate Relationships

What is Attachment and Why Does it Matter?

Posted by Mara in Adolescent Therapy, Child Therapy, Couples Counseling, Family Therapy, Premarital Therapy, Relationships Posted on: 23 Jun 2016

Therapy for Teens

During the EFT training today, I listened as Dr. Sue Johnson spoke about the power of human connection and how our attachment bonds with our primary caregivers can shape our view of the world. John Bowlby, who was a British psychologist and pioneer in the field of attachment, believed that children are emotionally dependent on their parents for love and belonging and that children with a secure attachment are able to explore the world, while using their parents as a secure base. Sue Johnson’s model of EFT is based on John Bowlby’s work such that EFT works to help couples restore trust and strengthen their attachment bond with one another.

While our society discourages co-dependence in relationships, Sue Johnson talked today about how we can be “constructively dependent” on our partners and that in fact, we are happier and healthier when we can rely on others for support. It is amazing to me how basic and primitive our attachment needs are and how the secret to safety is in being able to trust that when we reach for our partner, they will be there. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need and let’s do our best to show up for our partners when they call!

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