“This break up did not happen to you, it happened for you.” Read that again! I love the language here because I think it portrays a very different idea than what we normally feel. Whether the break up was your choice, your partner’s, or entirely mutual, it definitely doesn’t feel like a blessing when we’re going through it. We tend to have thoughts like “This relationship was everything to me!” “How did I loose the love of my life?” “If only I was what he/she wanted, then it would have worked out. If only I was enough.”
But maybe we can look at it another way. Why was I attracted to this person to begin with? What part of me fell for them? And why did I love them so much? I do a lot of parts work with my clients- a part of me feels this way, while another part disagrees. So while there may always be a part of you that loves your ex and may always hold a special spot for them in your heart, what else defined the relationship? What other parts of you got triggered and why? Because while it’s so hard to see anything else when we’re in it, maybe just maybe this breakup has something to show you. Something to teach you about yourself and your ex. So take a deep breath and try to ask yourself how can I GROW from this? How is this calling me to become better and what do I need to do to transform into my greatest self? Lean in. Turn towards and don’t be afraid to dig in. Now is the time so what are you waiting for?